My Training vs 50 Shades of Grey

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September 11, 2012 by crazymadliving

I’ve recently indulged in a spot of “mommy porn” with the much-hyped 50 Shades of Grey.

Despite faithfully reading a few pages every night until I had finished all three books, I can positively say that I couldn’t stand Ana.  And, frankly, Christian appeared to be a bit of a one-minute-man, if you catch my drift…  But while 50 Shades has nothing to do with my training, Ana’s “inner goddess” character does.

See, this “inner goddess” appears to be her cheerleader, inner nympho, librarian-slash-sexy-lady all rolled into one, who eggs Ana on when she feels a tad insecure and who will make her disapproval known when Ana does or says something stupid…

“My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” “My inner goddess sits in the lotus position looking serene except for the sly, self-congratulatory smile on her face.” “My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheer-leading pom-poms shouting yes at me.” “My inner goddess looks like someone snatched her ice cream.”

I don’t really have an inner goddess, but I DO have an inner adventure racer.  She’s “Chrissie Wellington meets Lara Croft”, and she becomes my inner voice when I train / feel lazy / want to finish a slab of chocolate / panic in the pool.

So, if I were to write a book, my inner adventurer would sound a bit like this:

“My inner adventurer stares up at me from the pool, impatiently tapping her fingers as if to say ‘seriously chick – you won’t die'”.  “My inner adventurer jumps up and down with cheerleader pom-poms shouting GO GO GO!!! at me.”  “My inner adventurer sighs, shakes her head at me and bends backward to resume her camel pose.”

My Inner Adventurer

She was also at her most vocal this past weekend when I had a full-blown panic attack while doing the swim leg of our group’s first mock triathlon.

All I had to do was swim a total of about 400m in the Waterfront Canal.  In my wetsuit and the safety of a group.  What could go wrong?

Well, as it turns out, everything.  The moment I jumped into the water it felt like somebody had punched me in the gut.  I had no air, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t start swimming, started hyperventilating… in the end I did a bit of the swim on my back while frantically pulling at my wetsuit collar while trying to breathe.

My inner adventurer was not happy with me.  She just shook her head while taking bored pot-shots at a row of cans with her pistol.

I know it’s a mental thing.  I know it. And I’m disappointed for not being mentally focused and strong enough to get through the swim like everyone else.  So all I can do is focus on the advice I have received in the past 24 hours. Some from reading articles like and some from friends with Ironman & Tri experience.

Although it feels like I’m taking one step forward, three steps back, hopefully this week will be better.

So, from now on, my inner adventurer may also have a few things to say about my progress.  Please indulge her… she’s quite opinionated.

Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with a snapshot from Saturday, after we completed our swim/bike/run.

The Fit Ones. And me on the right.




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300 Days Of Training

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Happy #redsockfriday! #shoOops When I work at the @capetownfunnyfestival I'm usually hidden away in some hidey hole, so the audience reaction feels different. Last night I was in the audience, and the experience was absolutely incredible. Hearing the gasps, the uncontrollable giggles, and spontaneous laughter... Seeing the delight in the audience's eyes and how they jump to their feet for a standing ovation... there is magic in the air at the @baxtertheatre, and you'll be a fool to miss this show.

#JiveCTFunnyFestival #comedy #capetown #lovecapetown #funny #laughter #magic He did it again. Fresh from the oven... thanks @brightboykris!

#bread #homebaked #baking #food You don't do #Cubs #Scouts for the fame and glory. But I love this pack of mine, even when dealing with them is like hearding cats ❤

And then their parents surprise you with a ginormous bag of your favourite chocolate. This #Akela has sweaty eyes right now. @justinbieberkittie doesn't care what or who he sits on. As long as it is soft.

#instapet #catsofinstagram #family #dominate Oh my gosh, I'm SO excited. Just received my mini photographic studio-in-a-box and am so impressed.
#lightbox #photo #excited #play Thinking back to my cross-country trip with @theunogwaja. Some of my favourite humans are in this pic. I miss them so. 
Also... check our awesome @newbalanceza kit... comfort for daaaayyyyyysssss (I still find myself wearing something from the range on the daily)
#bettertogether #unogwaja2017 #makeadifference Yup, I can taste that Cheddamelt and double thick milkshake already, @_official_spur_sa 
But at the same time I can't help but wonder how real this is 😶 It's so handy to have a #baker #boy in the house. Finally... an assistant in the kitchen, and @brightboykris is becoming an ace at decorating too. #homebaked #cupcakes

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